Thank you to all. Your cards, letters, calls, visits, gifts, and especially your prayers have blessed our family profoundly. At school, other children have reached out to ours with love and kindness. Teachers have been sensitive and compassionate. Our neighborhood and church ward have been generous with food, with babysitting, with playdates, and with ongoing offers of support and availability. Family and friends across the country and even further have called and written to share their hearts, their memories, and their faith. We are amazed at the reach one life can have. It is true that we do not understand our own influence. You probably underestimate your own. The thoughtfulness of each of you has touched our hearts and we want you to know that your kindness to us, and to others, is never wasted. When you feel to reach out and bless another life- do it! We have learned that such efforts are received in gratitude, not annoyance, as a blessing, not a burden.
This past month or so has been a time of many firsts, and we hurtle toward others. The first wedding anniversary I spent on a mini-retreat in Park City, thinking and crying and writing and praying. The first Halloween was complete with cute costumes and a gluttonous take in candy, but eight-year-old Bekah returned to say, “Halloween doesn’t feel like Halloween. We did these things, but I don’t feel happy.” It was a hard day for me too. The hardest, actually, which was unexpected. Matt loves Halloween and would always be a sucker for new Halloween baskets, way too many treats, way too many houses to trick-or-treat. We missed his fun and his enthusiasm sorely. The first Monday Family Home Evening, and every one since, began at the ce metery where we rearranged flowers and listened to a special goodbye message Matt recorded, sharing his love with each of us and emphasizing his testimony and his continued presence. At parent teacher conference I received a little folder of work from Rachel. Our first grader had written that her favorite thing her mom does for her is, “when you take me to the semetary.”
We slowly feel our way into the rest of our life. At times I have felt to cry- come back, come back… but more often my prayers are simply- don’t leave me, don’t ever leave me. Matt is here. His love and influence are warm and calming. He has not and could not cease to care and to exert all possible effort for our benefit. What a strength it is to know that this day and every day for the rest of my life he will love me. He will never forget, not for a single day.
Sari gave a presentation in class recently that she was very nervous about. She practiced late the night before and was ready to go in the morning. When I asked her about it after school she told me her Daddy was there to listen to her at night, and that he was there for her speech. She knew he would be there for her. She said she knew that now, he would always be there. He won’t miss a thing.
Thank you again for your love, your service, and your prayers. I believe God is bringing about a miracle in this story, and you are part of it.
Crystal (and with gratitude, from Matt)
