This last week has been a mixed bag of success and disappointment. Obviously, we continue to be disappointed that the results of the last CT scan showed that I may have reached "best response" on the current chemo regimen. The standard response at this point is to go two rounds of chemo past this "best response" point, so I had another round of chemo starting last Monday. This time around the fatigue really hit hard, but the nausea seems to be a lot less – I'm very grateful for small blessings.
As part of every chemo treatment they take my blood to determine the levels of blood cells as well as my liver functions – how well the liver is responding to treatment. This last time around – Monday's blood draw – we had good news on all the blood functions, including the red blood cell count which is back above the threshold level. Although given my level of fatigue, it may have dipped down again since then. I'll be going in next Monday for another blood draw to determine if it has gone back down or stayed in the acceptable range. The disappointing portion of this blood draw was the liver function tests which showed that they are starting to move back up. So far, they're still within an acceptable range, except the LST, which could be an indication of further breakdown of the tumor, so it may not be all bad. But it's still worrisome when things have been stable for a few months and then start to move even a little upwards. Like I said, however, we'll get another reading on Monday which should help us determine what direction we are trending.
But, like I said, the last few weeks have been a mixed bag – and you've heard the disappointing news first. Some of the good news is that the blood transfusion I received two weeks ago really made a huge difference. I was even able to take my family to the local amusement park thanks to the increased energy. Granted, it was at a much slower pace than I usually have done amusement parks, but these are the kinds of things I've always loved doing with my kids – so it was very nice to have enough of a break to provide that kind of experience.
Perhaps the highlight of the whole week, however, was a special opportunity provided by our new next door neighbor, Randy Jensen. As part of working with him in a church assignment I discovered that he is a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Those who know me well know that I've always enjoyed singing and have always hoped that at some time in the future I might be able to have the opportunity to sing with the choir. Of course, I'll need some serious work in terms of voice lessons and music theory, but I've always thought I'd have plenty of time to work those in. When Randy discovered how I felt, he not only arranged for us to get tickets for a special concert coming up at the end of July, but he also set me up to be a guest singer with the choir during their Thursday rehearsal.
I'm not sure I can even begin to describe what a special experience this was. For starters, the director of the choir is Mac Wilberg – who was also my director when I was at BYU and participated in the BYU Men's Chorus. Dr. Wilberg is a masterful conductor and it was a thrill to sit under his direction once again. Of course, he didn't remember me specifically – with almost 300 members in the Men's Chorus each year, I didn't expect him to, but I was impressed that he guessed correctly about the time I would have been in the choir.
Perhaps the most poignant part of the whole experience was the choice of songs. The choir was preparing for their Sunday morning broadcast, "Music and the Spoken Word". This week's theme was, "Songs of the Land," – a collection of uniquely American folk songs and spirituals appropriate for the week after the 4th of July. It was hard not to be in tears as we sang, "Deep River, my home is over Jordan" and "When the Saints Go Marching In". So many of the songs were about pain and suffering and the eventual overcoming of the Saints through the goodness and love of Jesus Christ that it was hard not to feel like there was a personal message in the selection for me. My situation is not nearly as tragic or painful as that suffered by so many, especially those broken apart by slavery and other human cruelty, but I am so grateful for their willingness to put to music their faith and hope. What a legacy to leave us who so little deserve their consideration. Crystal also said that she didn't have a dry eye for the entire two hour rehearsal from the time they came to escort me to sit with the choir until I returned to the front row seats of the concert hall where she had viewed the rehearsal.
The final, unexpected treat of the evening was when I found out that the choir hosts had actually taken a number of pictures and were going to pass them along to my email. So, I've actually gotten a few pictures of my bald head singing with the choir. At one point in the program they actually introduced the two of us who were guest singers and the final comment was that with my new hairdo I would fit right in with many of the men (including Dr. Wilberg). Not quite – most of them still have eyebrows, even if they don't have much hair – but it was a nice show of solidarity.
